Bathroom Krap

Here is a fine example of the ubiquitous decorative towel set. At least, it seemed ubiquitous when I was growing up. Every house (but my own) had these do-not-use towels on display.  I used them on more than one occasion. I would carefully wipe my hands on the back side and make sure I straightened them before I left. Yah, I was such a rebel. Actually, this set seems far more kitschy-cool than the ones from my memory that were embellished with pre-gathered lace and pearls by the yard and invariably covered in dust. ick.

I don't have any those, but I do have this set. Fun, huh?

Material: terry cloth towels, cotton crochet thread
Technique: crochet
Provenance: unknown, SW Missouri

One that got away

Sometimes at night I lie awake regretting the decluttering spree that resulted in the loss of one particularly kraptastic gem. (I knew that decluttering could come to know good end. Darn Flylady.) I even went back to the Goodwill where I dropped it off, hoping that it had stayed in that location, but no luck. It was a long shot. The best I can do now is try to paint a word picture for you, and really, when it comes to krap, my words usually fail.

Picture this if you can: a scrub brush. It is made from the carefully cut-out handle of a plastic milk jug. The scrubby part is gathered tulle in a pleasant shade between lavender & purple. The scrubby part is affixed to the milk jug handle with some very pretty purple crocheting. The whole functional item turns FUNtional with the addition of a beautiful plastic purple flower at the top of the handle.

::sigh:: It was perfection. Why did I ever put it in the give-away box? I'm still sad about that decision.

What the hell is it: corn edition

Ok, so this craft is obviously corn on the cob. But beyond that...what it is it? Crocheted, I know that. But was it meant to be functional or merely decorative? I always like to assume a functional intent on the creator's part, because that, in my opinion, epitomizes the Krafter Spirit: kreating a beautiful object intended to solve a particular life problem.Also, the fact that this cob was left with an open slit in the back makes it appear that maybe it was not simply part of a crocheted Thanksgiving cornucopia centerpiece. (Although if it *was* that would be super awesome, too. I would totally buy it.)

So, some ideas:

Maybe it was intended to be a cozy of some sort.

A remote cozy?

A microphone cozy?

An eyeglass cozy?

A cell phone cozy?
Or maybe...it was meant to be precisely what it has came to be used for in our house: play food!

Scary Krafts

Clowns are scary. Tacky, handmade, decorative clowns are even scarier.

It's hard to know for sure what the intent of this kreation was. Unless there is a piece missing, my best guess is that it was made to set on a shelf with the legs dangling off. For my impromptu photo shoot, I put it on the end of a broom. It has a stiff cylinder inside that was quite suitable for this display method.

The head is a foam craft ball covered with pantyhose. Felt features are affixed using straight pins, which indicates that this baby is true vintage krap!

My favorite thing about the clown is the awkwardly lumpy, decidedly not pointy hat.






Material: fabric, yarn, pom pom, felt, foam ball, panty hose, straight pins, cardboard tube, batting
Technique: pantyhose stuffing, sewing, pinning
Provenance: consignment sale, Joplin, Missouri

Worst of Etsy

Etsy is an amazingly varied and interesting place. A lot of the stuff on there is really cool, a little bit of it is fantastic and then every once in awhile you come across something that is truly frightening, like this child's coffin on wheels. I found it by using their new pounce feature that finds stores with zero sales. J L Burch will also make a coordinating dress & angel wings to match the rolling casket. Ok, so it's supposed to be for a wedding, but it's just too creepy. If they start selling those scary angel wings & caskets at $650 a pop, I think I will cry.

Kraptastic Kristmas!

When I went to Missouri in October, my aunt found this gem at a Kraft show. It was created by an old (and I do mean OLD) family friend, Ms. Opal Spencer. (I unintentionally purchased about 5 items made by OS, which should give you some indication of what an amazinginly kraptastic krafter she is.)

This gem won (in our estimation) the award for Best In Show (and also the "what is it?" award for ambiguous obscurity.)







Material: bath towel, yarn, pom pom, artificial floral pick, ribbon, felt, googly eyes, false eylashes, jute
Technique: towel folding, hot gluing
Provenance: community kraft sale, Southwest Missouri

Dishtowel Britches

On my last trip to Missouri, I caught a couple of local craft shows. At one, about 4 or 5 different vendors were selling these dishtowel britches. I wasn't going to buy one until I found this gem. I confess: I bought it solely because of the little note attached. Brilliant.





Don)t get excited
Don)t louse your head
These are not for you
but your dishes instead
Untie the yarn pull Out
the stiteches you now
have two dishclothes
But you have lost your
Britches


Material: dish towel, yarn, paper
Technique: towel folding, yarn tying, typing
Provenance: community kraft sale, Southwest Missouri